Does your child have a difficult time accepting "no" for an answer? Do they begin to yell, cry, and/or throw things when they are told "not now" or "later"? Do you fear going to the store with them, for a tantrum is likely when you refuse to buy them what they want? Wish "no" meant "no" and not an hour of bargaining afterwards? If your child has a difficult time accepting "no" for an answer, you may want to look at changing the way you handle their behavior as well as how you handle your own.
Many parents struggle to determine if the behavior is in fact "typical." Even if it was typical, if it not being handled appropriately then typical and quickly become atypical. Remember, that children do not grow out of things. They may grow up, but not necessary out of problem behavior unless taught to do otherwise. Children who are unable to accept denial will often display more extreme behaviors later in life as teenagers and young adults, engaging in stealing and aggression. However, simple behavior modification strategies can make a world of difference.
A chids ability to accept "no" depends on who they are as an individual, as well as the environment in which they are supported. The care giver must understand the environmental variables that surround the behavior (What happens before and What happens after) as well as who the child is an individual (Skill Strengths and Weakness) in order to understand why a child will/will not accept "no." Without a thorough understanding of the behavior, treatment simply becomes a guessing game.
Many children, especially those with developmental disabilities require additional supports to help them learn to accept denial appropriately. Children challenged by developmental disabilities such as autism often struggle with flexibility, thus being told "no" is an incredibly difficult concept for them to accept. Communication deficits can also result in undesirable behaviors such as tantrums when a child is told no. For example, the childs lack of functional communication may prohibit them from expressing frustration appropriately ("I am busy now.."), an inability to request desired items ("I want another cookie"),and/or an inability to understand why access is being denied ("What does later mean?)
